{"content":{"sharePage":{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"26814229","dateCreated":"1284001205","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Ingrid89","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Ingrid89","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1228179242\/Ingrid89-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/davidgarethw-books-b.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/26814229"},"dateDigested":1531973820,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Stream of concsiousness a good man is hard to find","description":"Stream of consciousness
\nA good man is hard to find
\n\u2018Bailey was looking straight ahead. His jaw was rigid as a horseshoe. \u201cNo,\u201d he said.\u2019
\nNo? No? No? Why did he always say no? He was such a meanie! Like the time when John and I wanted to go to Sam\u2019s for a sleepover and he said no because he wanted to see us when we had been with him all day that was just stupid And like the time when Mom and I wanted to go shopping for these new shoes that were on sail and he\u2019s like \u2018no way!\u2019 uuugh! I just hate that about him he\u2019s so cocky and bossy I\u2019m just thankful he\u2019s not my boss I remember the time when one of his employees came over and he was all careful about what he said he seemed like a little 5 year old not wanting to get punished just like a couple of years ago when I had missed a homework and Ms. Hermich wanted my dad to sign the paper and I was like \u2018no, no, please no my dad will kill me\u2019 and she was like \u2018well you should have done your homework\u201d and I mean, how can I do my homework when there is a baby in the house crying all day please like if she had a little brother crying every time he had to go potty like the time when we were at the beach and we were walking along the path that was like 5 miles long and then John had to go poopoo oh my gosh we had to like go into the woods so he could go and then we got lost and couldn\u2019t find the path so we stayed in there for hours until the people turned the lights on and we could make our way back to our hut and then we ordered that pizza oh goodness It was the best pizza I ever had It was like the one I had once at Emily\u2019s once oh! All the fresh melted cheese and those pepperoni slices over it Oh!! It still makes my mouth water just like last winter when the day was so cold and all you could think of was hot chocolate and then I smelled it coming out the kitchen Mom is just so special That was just the best hot coco I\u2019ve had in my entire life and those marshmallows floating on top ohhhhh!! That was sooo good","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"26847547","body":"Ingrid,
\n
\nGood, but... please consider whether terms like "I remember" or "Like the time" are representative of stream-of-conscious writing or reflective writing...
\n
\n
\nThanks,
\n
\nWebster","dateCreated":"1284063606","smartDate":"Sep 9, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"davidgarethw","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/davidgarethw","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26853995","body":"I like the way she wrote it- it was very random and thought-like. Like The New Dress and How It Feels To Be Colored Me, it was very sporatic and unrestrained. It seemed to me like she wrote things down as soon as they came to her mind, which is, as I understand it, the exact meaning of "stream of consciousness". Even though she uses words like "I remember" and "Like the time", it makes sense to me because she's writing it down as it comes to her mind. Even though she's reflecting on something in the past, it's still a thought that she randomly remembers. I guess that's the case with the whole entry- I think it's appropriate because that randomness comes comes from an unrestrained train of thought.","dateCreated":"1284072476","smartDate":"Sep 9, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"teagvest","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/teagvest","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26937091","body":"Thanks Teag,
\n
\nWebster","dateCreated":"1284317356","smartDate":"Sep 12, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"davidgarethw","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/davidgarethw","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"26806379","dateCreated":"1283990502","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"ad.ri","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/ad.ri","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1283992059\/ad.ri-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/davidgarethw-books-b.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/26806379"},"dateDigested":1531973820,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Stream Line of Consciousness","description":"For once its quiet, no little curious buggers trying to pull my tail or stuff a banana in my mouth. That wicked man who chained me hear oh how I wish I could be free, but no that man under that weird machine had to put this horrible leash and tie me to this ridiculously small tree that\u2019s not even tall enough to escape those grimy little hands. But right now it\u2019s ok, it\u2019s peaceful, quiet. I should try to chew this. Oh no! Come on! Why now? I was having such a lovely time. Ah, they\u00b4re coming towards me! Ugh how I hate this. Don\u2019t you dare touch me little girl or I\u00b4ll bite your fingers. Go away! Finally, bye bye children. I really don\u2019t like those impish children they bug me all day as if I were a toy or something. I have feelings you know and I would really appreciate if you wouldn\u2019t vex me constantly. There\u00b4s other people you can annoy like that fat man that chained me here. Hey, what are you doing there little bug? You know you\u2019re going right into my mouth, don\u2019t you? Come here I\u00b4ll do it quickly you won\u2019t even feel a thing. Let me just stretch a little more\u2026 No! Don\u2019t go away please come back. Oh well. I\u00b4m not really that hungry, the brown nice lady gave me that delicious fruit. I don\u2019t even know why she stays with that mean guy, she\u00b4s so nice and he, well, he\u00b4s not. Humans are so weird and most of them are too egocentric for my taste. They come and watch me and talk about me in my face, can you believe it? In my face, as if I weren\u2019t there! And sometimes what they say is not that nice. I\u00b4m sure glad I bit that woman\u00b4s finger. I\u00b4m not mangy and I certainly don\u2019t carry any diseases. I\u00b4m as healthy as I\u2019ll ever be! Ouch! That was not nice, little flea, now you\u2019ll have to pay the price, in my stomach. Oh, you were a crunchy one let\u00b4s see how your brother is. Hmm, a little bitter but I guess it was alright. What are you staring at boy? I\u00b4m eating here, could you just let me be? Oh, not you too? I\u00b4m just tasting them it\u00b4s nothing out of this world, it\u00b4s normal. Yes, that\u00b4s right listen to that old lady, you have to go now. Good bye. Hope you don\u2019t come back the same way. I don\u2019t know how they stand to be in those stuffy metal things when it\u2019s so hot outside, humans sure are weird.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"26808725","body":"Thanks Adrianna,
\n
\nThis is good writing but I am not sure whether it really works as stream-of-conciousness. You don't need to change it, but I would like you to look at Julian or Heloisa's work and let me know what you think.
\n
\nThanks,
\n
\nWebster","dateCreated":"1283993358","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"davidgarethw","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/davidgarethw","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"26806051","dateCreated":"1283990065","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"danielx_184","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/danielx_184","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/davidgarethw-books-b.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/26806051"},"dateDigested":1531973820,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Stream of conciousness","description":"Oh my! Who is this handsome shirtless?. Almost as handsome as Harry. Oh how I miss you Harry, why are you not here traveling with us. Harry why did you have to die so young? Only why did you have to die on that plantation. You left me to raise these children on my own. But if you could see how they\u2019ve grown. Oh almighty god look at this children of mine, this is like the stories of Kelly, poor her mom that had to raise them all on her own without a husband, getting hot in here. Oh may don\u2019t tell me this is a signal that I am going to hell! I don\u2019t want this man they call the M isfit to be on the same place! I don\u2019t want to burn in hell. Oh help me god \u2018cause I want to rest under your almighty arm. Those arms think and strong, oh like those of this shirtless man. But why does he carry a gun? Boy this man looks like I have seen him somewhere. Where have I met this fellow before? Oh no this man can\u2019t be the misfit he was not as handsome on the picture. This man is looks like harry. That tall figure, I know it. Am I seeing my Harry? No this can\u2019t be my harry, my harry wouldn\u2019t carry a gun with him, at least not to see us. Wait harry is dead, he is buried deep into Tennessee. This is definitely not my Harry. But who is this awfully gallant young man? Oh almighty god it can\u2019t be true! This man is the Misfit, this is no Harry this is a criminal. He is going to kill us!","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"26808559","body":"Thanks Daniel,
\n
\nYou don't need to change anything, but how might you respond if I were to tell you that I think that this voice is too measured, to pronounced, to strightforward with an agenda-like wish to expose for strem-of-conciousness writing?
\n
\nThanks,
\n
\nWebster","dateCreated":"1283993200","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"davidgarethw","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/davidgarethw","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26814361","body":"what would you suggest I do to make it better? by the way i was wondering, we have time to turn it in until friday, I mean the complete one, am I right?","dateCreated":"1284001539","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"danielx_184","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/danielx_184","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26847667","body":"Yes Friday, but I am not asking you to re-write it... Think of it this way... what would self-reflective writing mean...How would the thinker process his inner thoughts...Then consider stream-of-conscious writing... Look at Julian Picado's or Maya's work. How is that not structured, not organized, not cohesive?
\n
\nThanks,
\n
\nWebster","dateCreated":"1284063754","smartDate":"Sep 9, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"davidgarethw","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/davidgarethw","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"26802187","dateCreated":"1283984623","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"tammy_sev","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/tammy_sev","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1285868666\/tammy_sev-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/davidgarethw-books-b.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/26802187"},"dateDigested":1531973820,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Stream of Conciousness: Tamara Sevilla","description":"\u201c This is a good day for driving, it is not too hot nor too cold\u201d
\nI remember where I lived when I was little, the weather was so hot and we had to go for ice creams all the time. But ice creams were not the only thing that satisfied us. Watermelon\u2019s worked too. I love watermelons, like the ones that Mr. Edgar Atkins Teagarden used to bring me every Saturday, he was such a nice and handsome gentleman, and he always used to put his initials in the watermelons he brought, \u201cE.A.T\u201d. I never saw him again, I heard he had become very wealthy, he also got married and had four children. As a child I always dreamed of how it would be to become a mother, I played with my dolls all the time pretending to be one. I recall that time when I said that when I grew up I would never ground my kids Ha. Ha. Well, that wasn\u2019t true, but after all I think I came out to be a good mother. I think I\u2019m a good grandmother too, I\u2019m not like those old antisocial ladies that keep seven cats, I only have one. Pity Sing, I couldn\u2019t have asked for a better cat, I love how he keeps me company all the time. He is getting old, like me. But I saw myself in the mirror this morning, I don\u2019t have so many wrinkles, maybe that cream that I\u2019m using is working. I have to go to the supermarket to buy some more, when I do I should probably buy some comic books for my grandchildren. They love to read those comic books a lot. I didn\u2019t like to read a lot when I was little I remember I was always energetic. These days I don\u2019t feel energetic, I have to take a nap every once in a while, I should probably start one now.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"26806569","body":"I believe Tamara\u2019s stream of consciousness to be overall a pretty good one. She recalls events in the characters mind and speaks them in first person, she also rambles through different subjects without proper linking sentences another characteristic of the method of stream of consciousness. On the other hand though there is certain things that should be looked at or corrected for instance the use of the words \u201cI recall\u201d in a stream of consciousness piece of writing the reader is aware that all of what the character is saying is his or her thoughts so I believe there is no need for a reiteration on this. The sentence \u201cBut ice creams were not the only thing that satisfied us. Watermelon\u2019s worked too\u201d might look better as but ice creams where not the only thing, watermelons did the trick, for she is remembering and the original sentence makes it look as if she (the lady) was telling the story to someone else. Aside from that her way of expressing the thoughts is great, I like how she goes to describe everything she considers somewhat important. Though I stress, the use of a less flowing sentence structure could make it more obvious that it is memories. Sentences like \u201cBut I saw myself in the mirror this morning\u201d could be substituted by better suited ones.","dateCreated":"1283990783","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"danielx_184","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/danielx_184","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26809057","body":"I agree with you very much regarding the reflexive thinking here- the 'I recall'. You have read deeply into this, Daniel,
\n
\nThanks,
\n
\nWebster","dateCreated":"1283993718","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"davidgarethw","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/davidgarethw","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"26801867","dateCreated":"1283984114","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"MaFe1595","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/MaFe1595","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/davidgarethw-books-b.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/26801867"},"dateDigested":1531973821,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Stream Line of consciousness- Bailey","description":"Where are we going this doesn\u2019t make any sense why didn\u2019t they asked my wife to follow they probably want to talk yeah that\u2019s all and oh God why do I listen to my mother if it wasn\u2019t for her we wouldn\u2019t be stuck with the Misfits and its getting dark we aren\u2019t going to get to Georgia in time and the hotel is going to charge us more and I left my wallet inside the car that is now upside down Im such and idiot Im going to get robbed again like that time that I was in New York and that jerk stole my wallet in Time Square well I hope those idiots don\u2019t find it and I wonder if I have to walk any longer my legs are getting tired I knew I shouldve gone to the gym I would be in much better shape but no instead I keep eating junk food Im getting a belly and at The Tower with that Sammy Red Butts dude that food was so good we should definitely go there on our way back home but seriously who has a name like Sammy Red Butts seriously his mother probably didn\u2019t love him much I wonder if my moms alright she\u2019s probably praying and talking like a parrot she tend do that a lot she\u2019s probably driving that Misfit asshole out of his mind but that\u2019s good they probably leave soon I mean I love my mom but she can be a real big pain in the rear most of the time and that stupid cat of hers seriously why does she like that stupid cat all he does is spit fur balls all over my favorite couch and if it wasn\u2019t for that stupid cat we wouldn\u2019t be stuck here with this jackasses that have nothing better to do\u2026 Crap he\u2019s got a gun in his hand\u2026gun gun gun gun he\u2019s gonna shoot me, he\u2019s gonna shoot me my son my son is here they will shoot him too I should tell him to run I have to go I have to\u2026NO","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"26807237","body":"
\nWow. That is very good. I think this is a very good stream of consciousness because it goes from one thing to the other very quickly and it\u2019s all connected. You actually pulled off the no punctuation technique which I think contributes a whole lot to the flow of the monologue. I really like that, even though he\u00b4s being taken through a wood by two boys with guns who were riding with an escapee, his mind travels all the way back to New York and not being fit. I like it\u00b4s sincerity when he talks about Sammy Red Butts and his mother because that\u00b4s how we think. We are very sincere with ourselves and I really like it that you showed this in the monologue. Oh, and another thing is how fast he reacts when he sees the gun. He is suddenly thinking about his son and himself being killed when he had previously been complaining about his mother\u00b4s cat. This is a good stream of consciousness and, except from a few grammar mistakes, it deserves a perfect score.","dateCreated":"1283991826","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"ad.ri","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/ad.ri","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1283992059\/ad.ri-lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26808827","body":"Ma Fe,
\n
\nGreat work. I love the inter-weaving between the external and the memory derived clause. And it is funny.
\n
\nThis is good.
\n
\nThanks,
\n
\nWebster","dateCreated":"1283993467","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"davidgarethw","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/davidgarethw","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26808897","body":"Adrianna,
\n
\nI suppose this is more of what I was looking for. And, with this type of writing, don't worry about the grammar.
\n
\nThanks,
\n
\nWebster","dateCreated":"1283993542","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"davidgarethw","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/davidgarethw","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26809067","body":"- I find this stream of consciousness very good it is very efficient in showing the character\u2019s personality and I like how he tries to cover up his real feelings and starts worrying about other things. Like for example leaving his wallet in the car, getting late to Georgia, his weight, and even the cat. There is no punctuation and for me this shows a sense of nervousness. I do like this stream of consciousness a lot but I dislike some of the words he uses to express himself, such as \u201cdude\u201d, I don\u2019t feel they are necessary in the writing.","dateCreated":"1283993733","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"tammy_sev","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/tammy_sev","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1285868666\/tammy_sev-lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26847037","body":"Firstly, Tamara,
\nWhy would 'dude' not be necessary?
\nSecondly, I think your response needs some work. I would like you to go back and try applying some of the terms and elements that we went over in class.
\n
\nThanks,
\n
\nWebster","dateCreated":"1284063140","smartDate":"Sep 9, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"davidgarethw","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/davidgarethw","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26855777","body":"I find this stream of consciousness very good it is very efficient in showing the character\u2019s personality and I like how he tries to cover up his real feelings and starts worrying about other things. Like for example leaving his wallet in the car, getting late to Georgia, his weight, and even the cat. There is no punctuation and for me this shows a sense of nervousness. I also like the musicality it has. Like when he is thinking about his wallet and then suddenly it moves rapidly to the time he got robbed, and everything is linked together. It's like he doesn't finish he's sentences because all this other random thoughts are coming to him. I also like how you move from thought to thought.","dateCreated":"1284075012","smartDate":"Sep 9, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"tammy_sev","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/tammy_sev","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1285868666\/tammy_sev-lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26937137","body":"Great Tamara,
\n
\nWebster","dateCreated":"1284317435","smartDate":"Sep 12, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"davidgarethw","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/davidgarethw","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"26796629","dateCreated":"1283975738","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"helojello","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/helojello","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/davidgarethw-books-b.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/26796629"},"dateDigested":1531973822,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Stream of Consciousness ","description":"Oh dear that ugly girl just made the most horrible face and oh sweet Jesus thank you so much for not making me ugly and make me respectable if I had to choose between being white trash like the lady over there and being a nigger I\u2019d be a nigger but a respectable one not like the ones that work in the farm that I have to make small talk to and as hi yall doin and then give them ice water and oh the ugly girl has these blue eyes but not a nice blue and her mother is far prettier and has pretty blue eyes and oh she\u2019s reading her book and holding it like she will never let go and her college in the north did not teach her manners and oh she\u2019s so ugly id rather be a nigger than ugly Jesus has been so nice to me making me the way I am not a nigger and not ugly but I'm nice to everyone and I try to help and I bet that ugly girl never helps anyone and oh boy she just made that weird thing with her lips again that\u2019s probably the most ugly expression I have ever seen anyone make and oh Jesus thank you thank you thank you for making me the way I am and oh boy the ugly girl just chucked the book at me.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"26796627","dateCreated":"1283975737","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"helojello","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/helojello","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/davidgarethw-books-b.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/26796627"},"dateDigested":1531973822,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Stream of Consciousness ","description":"Oh dear that ugly girl just made the most horrible face and oh sweet Jesus thank you so much for not making me ugly and make me respectable if I had to choose between being white trash like the lady over there and being a nigger I\u2019d be a nigger but a respectable one not like the ones that work in the farm that I have to make small talk to and as hi yall doin and then give them ice water and oh the ugly girl has these blue eyes but not a nice blue and her mother is far prettier and has pretty blue eyes and oh she\u2019s reading her book and holding it like she will never let go and her college in the north did not teach her manners and oh she\u2019s so ugly id rather be a nigger than ugly Jesus has been so nice to me making me the way I am not a nigger and not ugly but I'm nice to everyone and I try to help and I bet that ugly girl never helps anyone and oh boy she just made that weird thing with her lips again that\u2019s probably the most ugly expression I have ever seen anyone make and oh Jesus thank you thank you thank you for making me the way I am and oh boy the ugly girl just chucked the book at me.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"26807227","body":"Heloisa,
\n
\nI love the obsession, the unrelenting need to call out the girl for being 'ugly' 'ugly' 'ugly'. So little pre-occupies the mind of this rather rotten woman.
\nThis rings very well in my ear.
\n
\nThanks,
\n
\nWebster","dateCreated":"1283991814","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"davidgarethw","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/davidgarethw","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26856021","body":"I like the way that Heloisa follows the sequence of events from inside the character\u2019s head. The lack of punctuation and continuous flow of thoughts makes this event seem very fast-paced and hectic, as I always imagine it to be inside my head. I especially like the part that emphasizes the thought of the girl being ugly. She writes, \u201coh she\u2019s so ugly id rather be a nigger than ugly Jesus has been so nice to me making me the way I am not a nigger and not ugly but I'm nice to everyone and I try to help and I bet that ugly girl never helps anyone\u2026\u201d I can practically see the contempt she has for the girl ooze out of her. Another part that I especially like is the end. Heloisa ends it with a dramatic \u201coh boy the ugly girl just chucked a book at me.\u201d I find this ending rather funny. It\u2019s almost as if the girl can read the thoughts of the woman and decides to get back at her by throwing the book.","dateCreated":"1284075297","smartDate":"Sep 9, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"kelseygymnastics","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/kelseygymnastics","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1222807559\/kelseygymnastics-lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26937173","body":"Thanks Kelsey,
\n
\nBest,
\n
\nWebster","dateCreated":"1284317515","smartDate":"Sep 12, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"davidgarethw","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/davidgarethw","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"26795103","dateCreated":"1283973193","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"caro3arias","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/caro3arias","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/davidgarethw-books-b.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/26795103"},"dateDigested":1531973822,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"revelation stream of consciousness ","description":"\u201cThe girl\u2019s eyes seemed lit all of a sudden with a peculiar light like night road signs give.\u201d
\n
\nthe dark covers me and claud is sitting next to me his soft gentle smoking a cigarette driving on the ghost story road. the wind splashes cold onto me as it flies through the window. two green flashes up ahead \u201cClaud! A deer!\u201d but too late SMASH! blood flying up oh Jesus its going to hit me and i duck closing my eyes but thank God the windshield catches it oh but i can almost feel it like that time... i am running and i love how fast my 7 year old body can go freedom swoosh air hair flies dress flows and the ground reaches up pulls me down scratches me. sting sting sting im dying blood is warm, warm but jack\u2019s dark fingers reach down. dark like night that envelops as i lay in bed claud breathing softly next to me satisfied the niggers have food on their tables i cooked a good meal and the lord Jesus had made me white and pretty smooth blanket warm pillows and happy like when i saw a stranger walk toward me with Claud\u2019s face as I shop. air is cold red nose red hands picking out flour for mama toffee for the little dirty girl wrinkled stained oily hair broken toys white trash momma hate disgust but that little girl with her sunshine eyes melts my heart like butter in a pan as I make pancakes. smooth batter whip whip chocolate nuts swirl then a bubbly pasty circle as it fries. flip onto yellow plate hand to claud and his face i love you.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"26803847","body":"Carolina\u2019s response is good but I find it to be a bit too linear almost like a narrative, instead of inner thoughts \u201cthe dark covers me and claud is sitting next to me his soft gentle smoking a cigarette driving on the ghost story road. the wind splashes cold onto me as it flies through the window. two green flashes up ahead \u201cClaud! A deer!\u201d but too late SMASH! blood flying up oh Jesus its going to hit me and i duck closing my eyes but thank God the windshield catches it oh but i can almost feel it like that time\u201d The story here follows a very sequential story like way. She is telling us how the dark covers her and how Claude sits next too her and how then they crash. This would be better if she tried to show this event by creating thoughts in Ms. Turpin mind with a more character like voice. I say this because it is written in a poetic almost \u201cepic\u201d fashion instead of conveying the rather simple language that stands as the characters true voice. I just don\u2019t find myself listenting to Ms. Turpin saying \u201cthe dark covers me and claud is sitting next to me his soft gentle smoking a cigarette driving on the ghost story road. the wind splashes cold onto me as it flies through the window.\u201d In the story Ms. Turpin is \u201crefined\u201d but she doesn\u2019t show any type of advanced vocabulary but instead uses slang and speaks in a very Southern manner.","dateCreated":"1283987225","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"julibarca10","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/julibarca10","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1269448814\/julibarca10-lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26808283","body":"Some lovely, evocative images there Carolina,
\nThis is the thing... Does unstructured, non-linear prose, does the thinking mind claim, or point out what the body is doing, when it is doing it? For instance, "I duck", "as I am running", "as I lay in bed", "as I make pancakes".
\n
\nYou don't need to change this, but think it over.
\n
\nThanks,
\n
\nWebster","dateCreated":"1283992886","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"davidgarethw","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/davidgarethw","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26808397","body":"I agree with a lot of what you say Julian,
\n
\nBut I wonder how we can "know" Mrs. Turpin's "true" voice. Yes, you did a good nob supporting your argument with the last sentence, but I am still questioning what you are saying a bit here.
\n
\nThanks,
\n
\n
\n
\nWebster","dateCreated":"1283993014","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"davidgarethw","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/davidgarethw","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26813059","body":"Mr. Webster what i'm trying to say is that in my opinion when i read revelations Mrs. Turpin's way of talking is rather crude and very simple for example: "and me and her mama were just talking and going along"(pg. 263) she seems to have a rather undeveloped vocabulary. while in Carolina's representation her way of speaking is very elegant","dateCreated":"1283999227","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"julibarca10","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/julibarca10","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1269448814\/julibarca10-lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26847325","body":"Thanks Julian,
\n
\nWebster","dateCreated":"1284063397","smartDate":"Sep 9, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"davidgarethw","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/davidgarethw","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"26792935","dateCreated":"1283970430","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"maaayyyaaa","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/maaayyyaaa","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1222817730\/maaayyyaaa-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/davidgarethw-books-b.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/26792935"},"dateDigested":1531973823,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Stream of Consciousness","description":"Oh dear Lord no no no this can\u2019t be happening how could I be so DENSE that road looked JUST LIKE it how could it not be? just like that time back when I could still drive and I forgot where the house was oh I could have SWORN that was the way home but no and Bailey had to come all the way and pick me up and oh the way he glared at me good gracious it was so HORRIBLE, like every single thing that has gone wrong in this world was all my fault, everything was my fault oh please let him not find out. just pray pray pray Lord will save us all oh dear, can\u2019t let him know, he\u2019ll be so angry already annoyed with the little brats why didn\u2019t they just shut up? it\u2019s all their fault anyway they won\u2019t stop at anything to get what they want I ought not to have come on this trip in the first place. see in Tennessee I know everything so well and it would be lovely to visit everyone like when I was young and carefree and we could have gone to the REAL plantation and see the REAL house and oh this would never have happened. dear Lord please let Bailey not find out.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"26807139","body":"Great Maya,
\nWhat I like most about this is the incantations-- the repeated words (not only the 'pray pray pray' which echos her audible words to the Misfit, but also the 'was alll my fault, everything was my fault'. This repetition of words is often what we do to alleviate stress... Good work.
\n
\nThanks,
\n
\nWebster","dateCreated":"1283991677","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"davidgarethw","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/davidgarethw","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26808717","body":"In a way this an perfect example of stream of consciousness because this jumbled mess if exactly how I think when I am desperate. It all runs together but I can see perfectly what her (or his) face looks like.
\n
\nOn the other hand, it would have been more thought like if you had branched off into other moments of desperation of the grandma's life (even if you had to make it up)so we could learn more about her life and her way of thinking.","dateCreated":"1283993351","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"caro3arias","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/caro3arias","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26808951","body":"Good Carolina,
\n
\nGo deeper, bring us some quotes and make this longer. Re-read the directions.
\n
\nThanks,
\n
\nWebster","dateCreated":"1283993613","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"davidgarethw","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/davidgarethw","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26813929","body":"I really like this demonstration of stream of concsiousness because it is different from the other posts. In this one, I can really relate to myself becasue it really feels like it is the mind of someone. For instance, when she writes
\n "oh the way he glared at me good gracious it was so HORRIBLE, like every single thing that has gone wrong in this world was all my fault, everything was my fault oh please let him not find out"
\nIt sounds like she really is having a dilema in her mind and it realy perseveres 'out'. I really feel I coul be the one in this situation and that those would be my thoughts, becasue I think that really is the way a person thinks.","dateCreated":"1284000556","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Ingrid89","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Ingrid89","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1228179242\/Ingrid89-lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26847437","body":"Ingrid,
\n
\nPlease distinguish between stream-of-conscious writing and reflective writing...
\n
\nThanks,
\n
\nWebster","dateCreated":"1284063478","smartDate":"Sep 9, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"davidgarethw","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/davidgarethw","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"26775973","dateCreated":"1283947246","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"kelseygymnastics","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/kelseygymnastics","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1222807559\/kelseygymnastics-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/davidgarethw-books-b.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/26775973"},"dateDigested":1531973824,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Kelsey Stream of Conciousness","description":"Look at that red and purple clay! That reminds me of an abstract painting I saw in a trip to the museum when I was a child. The gift shop there had the most amazing chocoates. ..My sister used to convince the boy working in the shop to give her \u201cfree samples\u201d of chocolate. She would bat her eyes and\u2026 I wonder what how she\u2019s doing in Tenessee. I wish I could\u2019ve convinced Bailey and the children\u2019s mother that we should go to Tenessee. They can be so stubborn\u2026 Pigs are the most stubborn creatures I have ever laid eyes on, all that brown. Brown is such an ugly color, so unoriginal. It just took a little from every other color and mixed them all up. If they didn\u2019t mix it up, it would be like a rainbow. I remember this time I was riding in the car and I saw the most fantastic rainbow. It was so clear, it looked as if it had been painted on the sky\u2026 I wonder if we\u2019ll have a chance to take a swim in the ocean on this trip. Of course, I wouldn\u2019t swim, but I could watch the children. I used to swim in the ocean. I had this one purple bathing costume that I was quite fond of. It had red stripes on it, just like that clay!","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"26799415","body":"Kelsey,
\n
\nThis is good, alternating between memory and sensory images. I am impressed. You don't need to change this, but I suppose that when you mention a couple of things (for instance, that "you" were a child when you went to that museum)seems a bit purposeful and directed, not quite what we are looking for. Do we remind ourselves in such a manner when thinking that we were a child then... It almost sounds as if you are informing a reader.
\n
\nThanks,
\n
\nWebster","dateCreated":"1283980017","smartDate":"Sep 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"davidgarethw","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/davidgarethw","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26857021","body":"I really liked all the visual images that Kelsey used, such as \u201cBrown is such an ugly color, so unoriginal. It just took a little from every other color and mixed them all up. If they didn\u2019t mix it up, it would be like a rainbow.\u201d It made me picture the colors being mixed together and then the rainbow. I also really liked that it was random, because that\u2019s how I imagine people\u2019s thoughts are, making random connections to subjects that other people wouldn\u2019t make connections with. I really loved how she connected the ending with the beginning, kind of going in a circle with her thoughts. Kelsey took elements from the story and then added on to it with thoughts from her imagination, making it sound that the grandmother was saying them. That was very clever and made the piece very interesting and different from other ones I read.
\n
\nBy the way, this is exactly 150 words. I'm proud.","dateCreated":"1284076518","smartDate":"Sep 9, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"helojello","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/helojello","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}},{"id":"26937223","body":"Be proud, Heloisa,
\n
\nThanks,
\n
\nWebster","dateCreated":"1284317584","smartDate":"Sep 12, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"davidgarethw","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/davidgarethw","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]}],"more":true},"comments":[]},"http":{"code":200,"status":"OK"},"redirectUrl":null,"javascript":null,"notices":{"warning":[],"error":[],"info":[],"success":[]}}